"AJ Feldman (alecmets2011)" (alecmets2011)
02/02/2015 at 09:21 • Filed to: None
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"AJ Feldman (alecmets2011)" (alecmets2011)
02/02/2015 at 09:21 • Filed to: None | 2
| 13 |
Today on Buying Extremely Unreliable Cars With a Warranty because Carmax, we have this absolutely wonderful !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! , for the low low price of $59,998.
Oh, Carmax. You've done it again.
Okay. So maybe $59,998 isn't exactly a bargain, but it's still a hell of a lot cheaper than the original $200k price tag this car originally had.
The S65 AMG. The car that quite literally screams "I'm a rich asshole" and "My wife is better looking than yours" and "My Titleist golf clubs are the same ones
I live in a fairly ritzy area, and I see these S65s far too often. So often that the charm of "Fuck you and your cheap plastic American crap" that these cars say to me really has no effect. I can drive by the fanciest restaurant in town and see a half dozen of these, and at least a dozen more "regular" S-class'.
But it still pisses me off.
But for $59,998, can you really get anything of better quality? What doesn't this S65 have? It has power, massaging, heated, cooling, breakfast making, taxes doing, leather seats. It has all tech goodies one could ever imagine. It even has a built in lap timer for when you bring your son Napoleon XXVI to the local circuit.
However, it does not have rear televisions. Which is probably a good thing anyway since Napoleon XXVI already has 4 iPads. Seriously though, does anyone who owns expensive cars with rear screens actually use them?
But it does have an integrated telephone. I guess that can be the secret phone you use to call your mistress so your wife won't does out. Or maybe you can become a super spy and use it to phone M that you got herpes from that Russian double agent. But again, who will use this?
It also has Active Body Control suspension as well as Dynamic Cornering, a Torque Vectoring Brake, Distronic Plus, Cross Wind Assist, and a whole boat load of other features I doubt you'll realize you even have until it breaks. But don't worry about that. We're talking about a car you can get with a warranty, so fret not about random things braking.
It even has the most useless clock in the history of the world. I don't understand why luxury automakers are so keen on having analog clocks in their cars. Are the sophisticated people who drive these cars just too smart and rich to have to use digital ones?
Also included is a random V12 badge in the middle of the dash, for you know, if you ever forget to mention to your passengers that the car has a twin turbo V12 and that "It can beat their cheapo BMW M3 in a straight line."
Now to the most important part of this car in my opinion. More important than those breakfast making seats or that analog clock in the middle of the dashboard. The torque monster that lies beneath the hood.
Just look at that behemoth. 604 horsepower and 738 lb. ft. of torque. I guess if your ever running late to that important business meeting deciding what color mirror you want in the executive bathroom, you know you can make it on time.
Although I've clearly expressed my extreme hate for this car, there's no denying it incredible quality and features. !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! All the luxury of the world with no need to worry. If only Carmax sold Ferraris, but life is never that perfect is it, so why not buy the next closest thing to the ultimate "fuck you" to poor people.
BTW, I was too lazy to edit this, so feel free to be a grammar Nazi
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AJ Feldman (alecmets2011)
> AJ Feldman (alecmets2011)
02/02/2015 at 16:46 |
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Sorry for the double post but i can't figure out for the life of me why it isn't showing up when i post it from my computer
I can only post from my phone or iPad for some reason
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AJ Feldman (alecmets2011)
> AJ Feldman (alecmets2011)
02/02/2015 at 16:52 |
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Just figured out the problem. Kinja has gone full retard.
It posts articles at the point you start writing them. I started this at 9:21 and just finished it around 4
brilliant
Tapas
> AJ Feldman (alecmets2011)
02/02/2015 at 16:52 |
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Hmmmm...if I find a wrecked S65, will the V12 fit in the 2016 Miata?
Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast.
> AJ Feldman (alecmets2011)
02/02/2015 at 17:00 |
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Here's the problem I have with modern Mercedes. Please, don't think this makes me a hater, because I actually do like the car, but....they are all over the place now. From high end ones like this, to the lowest c class, just everywhere. While I'm sure this has become a good thing for their bottom line, it seriously detracts from the exclusivity that the brand used to reflect.
At one point when you saw a Benz, you would almost expect a Bond villain and a couple of his henchmen to step out. Now....maybe an accountant or just well to do salesman of some sort.
Even though the brand seems much more accessible now than in days past, at least in the US, I miss their old image. One that was surrounded with the air of exclusivity and style.
SmoresTM Has No Chill (O==[][]==O)
> AJ Feldman (alecmets2011)
02/02/2015 at 17:01 |
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Seriously though, does anyone who owns expensive cars with rear screens actually use them?
Yes. My girlfriend's mom used to drive their Lexus 450h AWD (until she gave it to my girlfriend and got a Porsche Cayenne Turbo S. No screens in that one). It has a K40 RL360i Radar Detector, a custom WiFi setup, and she got it fully loaded so even though it's no S Class, it's still a $60,000+ vehicle before the aftermarket stuff. Her son used to play xBox on those little TVs when they were at horse shows or on long car trips.
Her husband has an AMG S65 4Matic Sedan. Not sure if there are TVs in the headrests but if there are I wouldn't be surprised and I can guarantee they've never been used.
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AJ Feldman (alecmets2011)
> Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast.
02/02/2015 at 17:05 |
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Exactly. That's what makes this S class so cheap now. The exclusivity is gone.
But if you don't care about that, this can be a bargain considering what these sold for new
I don't buy cars for exclusivity. No matter what they are. I buy them for speed, luxury, or just plain awesomeness
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Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast.
> AJ Feldman (alecmets2011)
02/02/2015 at 17:10 |
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Honestly, it's not that much to look at either. For a lot of new cars that us mere mortals can ever have hope of getting our grubby hands on, I feel this is the case. I think that may be why I really like the retro design cars and old classic designs. They had had a certain....style about them you just don't find in most modern cars.
chuck07
> Tapas
02/02/2015 at 17:32 |
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I think the engine would weigh more than the Miata body.
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Tapas
> chuck07
02/02/2015 at 17:33 |
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Beef up the suspension and drive train!
I want all them torques and horses shredding the tires off the car!
rb1971 ARGQF+CayenneTurbo+E9+328GTS+R90S
> AJ Feldman (alecmets2011)
02/02/2015 at 17:56 |
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I don't understand why luxury automakers are so keen on having analog clocks in their cars. Are the sophisticated people who drive these cars just too smart and rich to have to use digital ones?
It probably has both, I know my Maserati does. And they never, ever, ever, exactly agree. Which is super annoying. At least as annoying as when the stove disagrees with the microwave that sits directly above it. (Side note: why do all these appliances have clocks on them anyhow?)
But if you asked me to get rid of one of them, it wouldn't be the analog one. That sucker is way too cool looking.
Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
> AJ Feldman (alecmets2011)
02/02/2015 at 21:45 |
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Yeah, but who wants to be the asshole to spend $60k on a 7-year old By Benz? Actual rich people will chuckle and your poor friends will just think you're impractical and bad with money...
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AJ Feldman (alecmets2011)
> Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
02/02/2015 at 22:27 |
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Just tell them it's a 2012. They barely look different if at all
Its-just-a-kid
> rb1971 ARGQF+CayenneTurbo+E9+328GTS+R90S
02/15/2015 at 15:37 |
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That is Italian "character" right?
When I got my first A8, I went to find the a way to adjust the analog clock in the manual. Nothing. It was quite frustrating. So then I went ahead and adjusted the digital one in the MMI. Lo and behold I watched the needle on the analog clock swoop forward by one hour as well. Pretty cool. So leave it to the Germans to make sure that there is NEVER a difference because they can not be controlled independently.